Natalie Elliott, an Atlanta sex therapist, offers her advice on embracing and improving your sexual self.
When we talk about being our best selves, sometimes our sexuality is not considered in the self-improvement plan, but becoming your best sexual self is a goal worth striving for. Many have found that when they take the time to focus on improving their sexual selves, they gain confidence as well as self-esteem, which enhances other parts of their life as well. Here are five tips to help you become your best sexual self.
- Embrace sexuality. Sometimes due to upbringing (especially here in the South), some people feel embarrassed by sexual issues and sexuality. The first step to becoming your best sexual self is to acknowledge that you would like to be a better sexual individual and partner. This can simply be accomplished with a self-declaration to work on enhancing your sexual knowledge and skill.
- Educate yourself. Sex is a skill that is learned over time. There are many books, tapes and CDs that can help you develop this pleasurable skill set. Work on honing your skills.
- Explore old issues. Sometimes people don’t move forward on their sexual journey due to a negative past sexual experience. Don’t allow your past to dictate your future, especially in sexual matters. Sex can be fun. Sex can be healing. Sex can add value to all aspects of your life by decreasing stress and increasing happiness. If the past is keeping you from enjoying this part of life, explore it and do the work to fix it.
- Expect to have a great sex life. Expectation of greatness will change the way you approach sexual experiences, which in turn will change the way you experience sex. Try it. Great sex is waiting for you.
- Seek help if needed. There are some who have extenuating circumstances regarding sex such as painful sex, trust issues in a relationship or sexual dysfunction. Don’t suffer alone, and don’t go quietly into the darkness of a sexless life. Fight to be the best sexual person you can be! This may involve talking with your doctor or seeing a sex therapist. Talking to someone about your sexual functioning can be intimidating and even embarrassing, but the rewards can last a lifetime.
The sexual self is a viable part of the total human being. Many people underestimate the need to work on the sexual self as part of developing the whole person, but sex has a laundry list of benefits that impact the physical, emotional and even spiritual being. Start working on your sexual self today.